I’ve spent many months going through a very personal journey to discover who I am in the face of all I’d believed up until this point. In being vulnerable I shed my adopted persona and delved deep within to see where it was that the ‘me’ I knew somehow existed in the shadows. Much personal pain was felt and deeply experienced each step of the way and yet I remained in silence for fear of receiving harsh words and rejection from my peers and the ones I had until this point admired. So many people I know have also walked this path and I am grateful to each one of you because it is of you that I am sharing a bit of my own journey so that you know there is light at the end of the dark tunnel if only you are willing to seek it regardless of what others think.
In discovering Access Consciousness (copyright) I found something very different and very freeing for the first time in my life. I took my time over a few years reading up on it and realising that there was another way of Be-ing and it felt light to me. I received hostility and critisim for even wanting to explore this way of living your life and as I took the first class I knew everything would change for me because I chose it for me. No, I wasn’t brainwashed or coerced, quite the opposite. I woke up! I began to see all the things I’d wanted to do and was told that I couldn’t do and it wasn’t being done out of kindness or caring. It was heavy and contractive. Would you want to be in a squished down world where you are told the magic you know you are capable of was something you couldn’t do? Neither did I and in choosing not to be controlled anymore I stepped out into the unknown with only my knowing and a sense of it would be ok. I will share a little of my journey with you here in the coming days and if it shows you that there is more possibilitites than you may have been aware of until now then great. One of the greatest things I’ve learnt so far is that judgement is a great unkindness no matter who you are delivering it to and if someone is judging you they are in fact judging themselves far more harshly.
One of the things I love to do is teach and see the spark return to someone’s eyes again when they realise that they can choose another way for themselves and that they can get free of the junk and crap of this reality. Most people are too scared to look outside the box of their bought limitations and I was one of them not so long ago. It feels like a lifetime to me now. I work on myself each day and release any self judgements that I may have hidden deep within the depths of my being. I’ve learned how to value who I am in this crazy world and to embrace that sassy, vibrant woman who for so long was hidden because she didn’t feel good enough, smart enough or chic enough. Where did I buy those limitations from?! Well, I know now they weren’t mine,yet I had bought them as mine and stuck myself with them over and over again. I was determined to be all the things others told me I wasn’t. Have you done this too? Crazy isn’t it?
I get lots of emails both here and on my Facebook page asking questions about various things and I do my best to assist them. What would it take for each of us to be that kind to others? To be the light when others are in the dark? To be in a place with them where they are not judged or made feel ‘less than’? I do this whenever I can from a place of caring and kindness because I know what its like to feel vulnerable and not receive the caring or kindness.
I’ve been on this journey a very long time and explored many different paths from Reiki, crystals, healing, Mystisim, Wicca and Shamanisim and each have been a gift. When choosing Access Bars it was my last stop as I had just about given up at this point almost 2 years ago. I recall asking the Universe to show me something that would make a difference to me and give me the peace and the freedom that I desired. I didn’t have to wait long and when it arrived in the form of a lovely friend who was a Bars Facilitator I knew I’d found it at long last. You see, sensitives are seekers and we go on seeking until we discover what finally works for us in this world.